Outreach to the Community

Over the last three weeks, I've found a certain new found enjoyment of reading the word first thing in the morning, and reading it as the last thing I do before I go to sleep. I've always enjoyed writing, but I've never been committed to try to keep a journal or diary. However I'm thinking that since I'm already up to I Kings after 3 weeks of reading starting from Leviticus, that a journal would be very beneficial to record my thoughts and meditations. I feel confident that I can do it consequently because I've already started that using this blog. The last two weeks I've been really concentrating on God, and through that I've found that without trying too hard my spiritual discipline has increased dramatically. The temptation of greed, lust, pride and the like are still there, but focusing on God makes them so much easier to overcome. Anyways this segment is entitled "Outreach to the Community". In the last week, I've been super motivated and super focused on mediating on God and his word, and getting myself more equipped spiritually. My mom and I have narrowed down about 3 colleges that I want to talk to involving Christian Services programs. Because thats where I'm being called to, I want to start injecting myself more into doing more outreach ministries while I'm still here in Detroit. Last week I returned to REAL church, a church I had been going to for a good amount of time during the winter and spring. I wanted to get involved a lot with them again. Mostly everyone recognized me and I was excited to be accepted and to start partnering with them. Last night, I went with them to do their weekly bread outreach. We meet at Avalon Bakery in midtown Detroit at 6 pm on Wednesday nights. Its fairly new so I'm happy I'm helping with it. Anyways the bread is donated to us by the bakery and we select teams to go to different neighborhoods and distribute it. It was a great way to get to know people and tell them what we are all about. Today I'm being invited by one of the guys from Real Church to have dinner with him and hang out, so I'm excited about that. Also I spent about an hour talking to the pastor last night, and we talked about spiritual training a little, basically my whole focus for the rest of the time I'm here. So I'm hoping that I can pick his brain over the next months and hopefully he'll give me some good advice and discipleship.

Over the last month, Josh and I have been getting a long great. Josh is a guy from Jimmy John's that I work with. He was going through a pretty rough period, with trying to get custody of his children and being able to see them and still trying to support himself. Anyways ever since I told him that I was praying for him he has said his life has been really good. So I've been pretty bold with him explaining my faith to him over the last several weeks. He's interested, and wants to be believe in a higher power but just needs more proof. I'm really encouraged that he is always willing to listen to me when I bring up my faith or Jesus or God. Yesterday I really said I was excited to see a Tigers baseball game with him, and we got talking about spiritual things again. I listened to his concerns and critics of Christianity. I know I am not a powerful speaker of apologetics, so I tried to give my points of view without trying to destroy every argument he made because I know God can defend himself. Anyways if he needs more proof then I'm going to pray that God reveals himself more to Josh. Jesus didn't belittle Thomas when he didn't believe his fellow disciples, but instead meet Thomas where he was. Also seeing how I've been dealing with my whole girlfriend situation, Josh has been encouraged to see that I'm making it through because of my faith in God. Anyways breakthrough occured last week. I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers and asked if he would be willing to read the Bible with me. He actually said that would be something he would want to do, because he's been trying to read the bible lately but its just hard for him to get into it and understand. Then he mentioned he was reading the New King James version and I think I understand. Its hard for anyone to understand the dialectic used then.

On Saturday night, our block had a block party. There was music playing all night, people grilling food and basically everyone just outside having a good time. Mike, Luke, Kat(Luke's fiance) and I went out to have a good time with them. A few of them knew Mike's name, but they all recognized us as the white guys. Anyways they welcomed us immediately and got us food from the grill and we just hung out for over an hour talking or playing football. At one point during the night, there were 3 little sisters, probably from ages 3-5, playing next to me. I started talking to them and before I knew it they were all attached to me. So I played with them for about an hour straight and I couldn't shake them, but it was a lot of fun.

Back in the fall and winter, Jon and I used to go to the Metropolitan United Methodist Church on Tuesday nights where CDC hosted a small little evening camp for kids from first to sixth grade. The kids were picked up in the CDC school bus and brought to the church. Then a local church on rotation would provide all the kids with a meal. Afterwards they would split up into groups according to their ages and then would go to 3 different classes. There was a bible study class, a study class, and an arts and crafts class. Jon and I were always involved in the study class, where the students would come and we would either help them read, do math, or help them with any real life homework they had. Each class was 30 minutes long. During the spring I stopped going consistently and now I haven't gone for a few months. At first it was because sometimes I worked or I had other obligations but now my schedule isn't hindering me from going anymore. So I'm going to reinsert myself and start going back regularly to help out. Those kids can be amazing sometimes, and other times a handful. Hopefully I can get more involved with CDC too as I'm trying to decrease the number of times I work late hours at Jimmy Johns.

Anyways pray that I'll continue to be bold in my exploits with outreach ministries and that God's hand would be working in guiding me to get spiritual training through experience, through school and through Church.

Finding Purpose Through Hardships

Matt and Jon both left a mark on me that changed my outlook of Christianity. They both were very dedicated to serving and working and both had self discipline that I admired. Above all, they taught me that humility needs to be genuine for you to glorify God. The house is a little different now that they are gone, but I wish them the best of luck on their new adventures. Matt got married to his wife, Belinda, in mid June. Shortly after Jon left to go back home and do fundraising for his missions trip to Peru, where he'll be for a year at a time.

I am encouraged that Mike, Luke and myself have dedicated ourselves to serving each other in their own personal convictions and paths. Luke's fiancé has moved to Detroit and both of them will be injecting themselves into campus ministry. Mike is on a quest for racial reconciliation and has been doing lots of work with CDC. Two weeks ago I told my roommates that I felt like I needed to be speaking my spiritual purpose. They have greatly encouraged me as I seek God. \

Last Wednesday my girlfriend Samantha got back from her trip to Mexico. I was eager to tell her all that God was showing to me, but she called and said she felt God was separating us. To be honest, this wasn't the first time she's told me this. But over the months were God has been missing from our relationship, that voice in her heart had grown louder and louder. I was devastated when she said that our relationship wasn't working out.

I went through a pretty intense grieving process. I was at work when she called so I didn't have time to say much before I had to go. I was emotionally upset because I was hoping that when she got back from her trip, that she would be on a spiritual high and we could work out the missing parts of our relationship. Anyways I was confused because I felt God was drawing me closer to her. The next night I talked to her for about an hour about my feelings. I just asked her to listen. I told her how much I was hurting, and how I was confused, and how I felt that we were meant together. She listened but her heart was still telling her the same thing it has been for weeks now. I didn't eat for 3 days, and slept for only 12 hrs in those 3 days. I vigorously prayed because she means so much to me. It hurt so much because she had brought me so much happiness. I was very emotional and even called off work on Friday. I wanted to talk more about it on Saturday because I needed some closure I guess. I send many text messages but I didn't get many responses. Finally Sunday came, and I prayed very earnestly as I had been doing for the last 5 days. I went to church and a few people their prayed for me, but I always asked for them to pray for Samantha too.

I got home and began writing a list of things I wanted to talk about if we talked today. My eyes were opened to the pain that I've brought Sam. She's probably been crying out to God, having to deal with loneliness. She kept telling me that God was asking her if we were headed down the same path, and I kept dragging my feet. I was waiting for God to magically give me an answer. I wasn't walking though. God was speaking to me through her, but I couldn't make that distinction. Through this he was telling me to get my act together, to start walking and follow him wholeheartedly. This was the wake call to stop waiting. She deserved me to be a better spiritual leader and I let my pride sometimes get in the way. Anyways I felt that most if not all the blame came down on me all at once. It was overwhelming.

I turned on a song that was playing at church called Mighty to Save. I started singing it and I felt something. My eyes were tearing up but not because of the separation from Sam, but because of the separation from God. I was at my lowest moment, completely broken. And during that song I walked around the house with my hands in the air, ultimately surrendering myself to God. Then I as knelt down still singing, I felt Jesus surrounding me with his grace. In that one moment, I felt something I had never felt before in my life. I felt Jesus restoring me, and all at once I felt completely forgiven, completely righteous and completely loved, as if he was saying "No matter what I couldn't love you more than I already do".

If I can be comforted by anything is that God's timing is not coincidence. I have never felt the spirit of God so strongly in my life before, leading me. It took me being completely broken, exhausted of resources and energy, praying and fasting, for me to deny myself and surrender to him. I don't know what the future holds. I feel like God is leading me in a direction that can not only coexist with Sam, but that we would be united with a common purpose and path. Sam tells me she needs time, and maybe she'll see a change of what God is telling her, but right now I'm giving her space even though its so difficult when I want to show her that I've failed, but I want to recommit myself to loving her with a love that can only be from the eternal well of God. Regardless, I'll take comfort in knowing that God has my future in his hands, that it has a happy ending. As we speak today, my mom is helping me look into colleges from the future, and I'm ready to go where God leads me. I love ministries and outreach's specifically to community. I'm injecting myself into a ton of ministries while I'm here in Detroit. If you do think about praying for me, please considering praying for Sam as well. I can only imagine her heart is as broken as mine, and if I can't show her my love, then I pray that God will intercede and I know he will no matter what.

Seeking God in the City

Last week I drove back to my home in Morgantown, Pennsylvania where I reunited with my friends, my family, and my girlfriend. My part time job at Jimmy John's was gracious enough to allow me a week off even on relatively short notice. My girlfriend insists that I procrastinate about the craziest things. Those including getting off for work, going to the doctor over something that is little, or even looking into the future with school or ministry. She is probably right, as I do wait until the last moment to do a lot of things, usually because they are filled with emotion or because I have a hard time moving on when I know that the times ahead will be tough. Anyways she is a great balance to my short comings. Anyways the week away from Detroit was a blessing. I was able to connect with my family, especially my younger brother Daniel. I also spent a morning with my Dad. I missed my alarm at 7 because I had set it for the pm instead of am, but we were still able to salvage breakfast and the morning once he reminded me with a phone call that I was supposed to meet him 20 minutes ago. I was wonderful seeing Samantha again, but we had some bumps during the time. We talked a lot about our future, and what God is calling both of us to pursue. She some hard questions about where I saw myself in a few years, and it was difficult because I'm just not sure, but whatever I'm doing I want to be doing it with Samantha. I tried to convey my thoughts that if we were both following the will of God then we were spiritually compatible. And even though we are separated right now, that true love will be there when the time is right to be with each other again. I hope I was able to indicate how much she means to me, and I hope she was encouraged through my visit regardless of what may have been on her heart. But it ended on a good note and it hurt to say goodbye as always.

Anyways with my girlfriend's zeal to see if we are being called to be liked minded and in one purpose and me wanting to give her an answer that would satisfy, I came back to Detroit determined to spiritually expand myself. I spent the first night back involved in the Word a lot, focusing on II Peter chapter 1. In this epistle, Peter tackles the question of making one's calling and election sure. In verse 5 through verse 8, he writes, that we should "...make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." So I have discovered the key to not being left in the dark. That doesn't mean everything will be completely revealed, but it does mean that I will have something to walk towards. Anyways, by having those things, you are actively seeking God and living for him. Afterwards I began reading Leviticus and praying that God would light a lamp for me because I was seeking. Then I remembered what Jesus had said about seeking God. He said seek God and he pray to him, and he will give you all the desires of your heart. Suddenly I had a vision reflecting on what the desires of my heart were. I saw myself doing community ministries and starting my own family. Hopefully that's something Sam is being led too as well.

Today was even more God inspired then last night. During my readings about offerings, eating clean animals and the rules and regulations for people with diseases, I started to ask myself what the significance of all of it was. Well the most obvious is that it is in the bible. But those decrees don't apply today, because these were the laws of God, given to Moses, written by God inspired Moses. And when Jesus came he made new covenant, an everlasting one that abolished the old law. It says in proverbs that the law of the lord is perfect in convicting the soul. The law shows you your sin, but it was Jesus who offered the answer. I made a list of reasons of why Leviticus is significant even though I have only read up to Chapter 17 at this moment. First off, if I look back at how we got to Leviticus, we have to go back to Exodus, and then Genesis. Genesis shows us the beginnings, proving the existence of God and the purposefulness of creation. Genesis also shows how rejecting God causes hardships. But even though man rejected God, he never rejected his creation. Genesis outlines that God had a plan to redeem his children, and that plan goes all the way to Jesus. Exodus shows us his mercy and grace. He freed the Hebrew's from their slavery and saved them from the army, provided for them in the wilderness and eventually set up a covenant with them as he began developing Israel into a nation. In Leviticus as in later chapters of Exodus, God has specific guidelines for the Israelites to follow. About how to build the transportable temple, or how to do specific offerings. He is setting Israel apart as a nation and teaching them how to be a holy nation, one that has God as the foundation. And the reason is because Leviticus tells us that God is Holy. Another important aspect of this book is that there is no forgiveness of sins without bloodshed. Being one of the priest (Aaron and his sons) was probably a very demanding profession. Doing offerings all the time, doing them in complete accordance with God's law(God kills two of Aaron's son for messing up and taking the holy rules lightly in front of God Almighty) and having to basically slaughter animals all the time. The point being that even reading tedious regulations of the bible is still valid.

Later during the day Michael had looked up a church that had sunday night services for young adults. Even though it was all the way in Troy, Michigan (about 20 miles away) we wanted to see what it was all about. So we went and I had a very good time. Probably over 300 young adults there, we started off with worship and then had a small message. The message was very inspiring in my opinion. Cliff, the leader, talked us through the prophet Haggai. After the temple of Solomon had been destroyed the community of Israel tried rebuilding it but were stopped by force eventually. 16 years later, Haggai appears and tells the people to start rebuilding. Many of them were waiting for God to do some miraculous sign or just didn't want to try because there was no way it could be at its former glory. But God wanted the temple rebuild so he sent Haggai to tell the people to move forward and let God care about where that leads the people. The LORD says, "I am with you...Do not fear." Then he ended with Isaiah 26:8. "Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you". Cliff said that waiting on God doesn't mean stopping it. It means to continue to walk in his ways. I was very inspired afterwards, wanting to stop waiting by doing nothing, and start waiting by walking forward towards God. After it was over, we got acquainted with some of the people there, and had fellowship for over an hour. Hopefully God will continue to speak to me during this week. I feel very inspired to look at my possible future. Perhaps vocational or bible school, maybe just spiritual training. But I don't want to feel like I'm stopping right now.